Parents !!

Few months back, I received a mail fwd and atlast today managed to find it ... here In essence, the moral of the story "No matter what, parents will always be there and give you everything they can to make you happy. Never forget how important your parents are and try not to take them for granted...they may not be around forever". An old story ... but my all time favourite !! I'm happy to share it today because this story changed a life. One of my collegues got married recently and she wasn't happy. We had a discussion. She: I can't live with her(mother-in-law) anymore. Everyday is a nightmare. I need to decide this today. I can't tolerate this anymore.(She gave various reasons) Me: I can't tell whose mistake it is without hearing the other side. But, just because you can't tolerate your mother-in-law, what right do you have to separate your husband from his parents? She: Even I'm away from my parents. When I can think that he's the most important person to me, why can't he? If he really loves me, he'll not want me to suffer. We'll go abroad and be away from everyone. Me: Women, by nature, tend to think their husband is the most important person. I don't know why, maybe because of the way we are brought up or its in our blood. Think from your husband's perspective.(I suddenly remembered this fwded story and sent it to her). If you did not want to live in a joint family, you should have told your husband well before marriage. He might have decided over his priorities. She : I didn't know that it would be tough.(She started crying.. I knew she won't understand). Me : Ok.. let's assume u love ur husband more than he loves u. She : that's true. Me : Ok.. so I beleive you can do anything for his happiness. She : sure. Me : Is he happy being with his parents? She : Yes. Me : Would he be happy to leave them alone and live with you? She : He said he cannot. Me : So, do you think he'll be happy if you force him to forsake them? Will his parents be happy? She : No.. Me : Don't you think you're being selfish? Just for your so-called happiness, you are spoiling the happiness of a whole family. She : I'm not selfish everyone else is.. I've tried to adjust so much. Me : But then, even after you move out how can you be happy if your husband isn't? She : I think you are right.. moving out will not solve this problem. Me : Every house has problems, if its a perfect world then we'll get bored and dull. (advice panrathu evalo easy :-)) Every person has their positives and negatives. Life is always about adjustment. I can't say anything abt ur husband or mother-in-law but I think you can make a positive difference by loving back. Ok ..Will you be happy if your husband hates your parents or speaks bad about them? She: No. Me: What would give him more happiness than you accepting his parents? She : But everyone has a limit of how much they can give without expecting, I'm not Buddha or Jesus. ( Ithe dialogue naanum pesi irukken :() When everytime I try to love, I just get hurt more. Me: I know that its tough and time should heal your hurt feelings. Ok, you need not love but can't you atleast tolerate? Atleast to make your husband happy? She : I don't know. But I liked the story. And I understood that I was selfish. I need to give this some time. Me : As time goes by, you'll get used to things. How long do you think your mother-in-law can keep complaining? After all, doesn't she know that if you're not happy then her son can't be happy? Parent's are not selfish..its just the generation gap and its in our hands to understand them. She : I've always felt that she is selfish. But this story makes sense. May be I was wrong. Me : They have spent their whole life for their children..now within a year you want to take your husband abroad. How would they feel? Even if your mother-in-law seems the worst to u, she is the best for ur husband. She : Yeah.. Thanks .. I understand. *************** THE END ************** Part - 2: :-) She (today): "(nalam visarichitu)...Pavi..things have not changed much. But, my husband was happy that I changed my decision. He listens to my problems and I think he understands. Today is our wedding day and he gave me a card saying how much he loves me.. I was deeply moved. I might have not celebrated this day happily if I had been foolish that day. It's all because of you" Me : ( I was also deeply moved ;-)) Good. Wish you many more happy returns of this day. Advice yaar venum naalum pannalaam but following it, is the toughest thing.. so credit goes to you not me. Nerla pesalaam..I'll be back soon. *********** சுபம் *********************