Love or Fear ?

Again, a post about relationships. I've noticed many times how husband and wife seem to adjust/ignore for the other's nature. There are very petty things to extremely important things that they fail to openly discuss with their partner. I've been wondering whether its due to love towards each other or fear? A simple example, my friend got married and for nearly a year she has been cooking for her husband. Potatoes don't suit the husband but it's his wife's favourite dish. So for a year, the hubby hasn't told this to his wife. After a year, suddenly he falls sick and the wife learns this from the doctor. Is this required? What has he gained in keeping numb? He could have definitely told his wife at the right time. It was just a fear of upsetting her. Habits are another night-mare. After an arranged marriage, our life-partner is surely new to us. Every habit differs. It's good to adjust but in what ways? Before marriage, he might have roamed out with his friends to cinemas. Now he might see his wife as one of his friends but then women are from Venus. So, she might enjoy shopping better than a movie. But she never speaks out. There was this funny incident. My friend was pissed off with her husband. Guess for what? He did not buy her flowers. ;-). They both had gone to the temple and the husband didn't pay attention to get her some flowers a matter of Rs 5. When the husband knew the reason, he cooly asks "Oh is this a big deal? You could have told me. Won't I spend Rs 5". He speaks practically. The wife snaps back, " I've enough money to buy it". She is right, she is not financially dependent on him but its an emotional dependency. The husband speaks back, " Then get it yourself. You're such an egoist". A small issue gets big. Now, for a minute if the husband had put himself in his wife's place. He should have thought, "I'm just into her life, she doesn't know my love unless I reassure her everyday. She has all reason to feel possessive, uncared for, insecure.She hasn't desired for an impossible thing so what does she need? She needs my attention and a reassurance that I'll always be there for her." Now his reply would be, "Ok.. I'm sorry. Next time I'll remember. I didn't mean to hurt u". Communication is the key. Now if the wife never speaks back how many ever years it takes, the husband might never know how she feels. Again, can everything be communicated? The answer is a big "NO". A girl after 20-25 years of playfulness is expected to behave maturely right after the knot is tied. And she tries her best to win everyone's heart. Life just becomes adjustment & compromise for her. So, as a wife she expects her husband to understand her. When he continues to be a playboy she feels as if she's giving more & receiving nothing in return. Occassional small things will make her feel all her adjustments are worth it. Every wife complains, "If I have to tell him everything then why the hell did he marry?" "Why should I beg him to show love?" "If he really loves me, he should know" "He doesn't care". I feel that there's nothing wrong in communicating our feelings to our partner. After all why should we adjust/tolerate if there's a way out? We can adjust out of love but shouldn't fail to express out of fear. There's no use in just reading the book "Men r from Mars..", the true value of education is in trying to follow the principles in life.