NewBie

Monday, November 20, 2006

Unconditional Love

Often, I've wondered what is the reason for so much unhappiness in this beautiful world. The reason, I find in common is "Expectation". Whenever we expect we push ourselves into a sea of unhappiness. I happened to read an excerpt from the writings of Paramahansa Yogananda here Yet another site explains Unconditional love Let me start from the very basic things, Friends: We expect them to be truthful to us and when we find that they aren't trustworthy we get disappointed. Husband & Wife : There are a lot of expectations and disappointments. God : Do we love God unconditionally? We go to temples to pray and when our wish is fulfilled we thank God and beleive in him whereas when our wishes aren't fulfilled we hate him and start losing faith. Does God love us unconditionally? If so, there should be no worries in this universe. Parents & Children : Why is mother's love called "Unconditional"? Maybe we should categorise parents as 1. Parents of a son 2. Parents of a daughter The love of parent 1 can never be said as unconditional. They educate their son not only to fend for himself but to take care of them in their old age. (Atleast in India it is so). With that expectation, though many mothers hide their disappointment and say "However you are I'll love you" internally they do have that expectation/possessiveness etc. The love of parent 2 is nearly unconditional. They shower their love and affection on their daughter knowing fully well she is going to leave them alone in their old age. They don't deny her any education. They spend lavishly for her marriage just for her well-being. What do they get in return? They are no different than parent 1 except they have a girl instead of a boy. Is there something called "Unconditional Love"? Is it possible to just do our duty and expect nothing in return? Is it possible to be like Jesus/Buddha turning a deaf ear to what others say abt us?

Labels:

posted by Pavithra @ 4:45 PM  

17 Comments:

  • At 4:30 AM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Swamy Srinivasan aka Kittu Mama said…

    hi pavithra,
    i also got a life label in mine.
    good one. naan from New Jersey and i just happened to see ur blog.

    keep the good work. my blog is
    kittu-mama-solraan.blogspot.com

    mudindaal paarkavum

     

  • At 10:39 PM, November 21, 2006, Blogger EarthlyTraveler said…

    Pavithra..are you like this from the begining? analysing everything in a philosophical way? I have to read all your articles. Unconditional love is almost impossible.When ever you show it, it is taken for granted.You just can't pretend as though you are not affected.appdi if you can do forget and forgive and continue showering your love...adutha Jesus,Buddha or Mother Thersa neegathan.But avanga kooda family badham thooki pottu vandha pinthan they could do this.Kudumbam nu irundha ennai poruthavarai expectations will be there at any stage.How much you can accomadate is depend on each individuality.
    This is purely my opinion.Thappa thonithuna Iam very sorry.--SKM

     

  • At 12:33 AM, November 22, 2006, Blogger Dreamzz said…

    ahaa... romba philosphy poreenga... venaam..sollitten!

    sari comedy poga..serious a

    Eppadinga "unconditional love" appadinu Mother-child love a sollalam..athu avanga paiyan/ponnu appadingara karanathaala thaana athu varuthu? athu eppadi "unconditional" aaga irukkum? (athaan, athu en paiyan/ponna irukkanum appadingara possessiveness -condition thaana)

    kadhal enbathu (namma cinema aan penn kadhal illa) ..mm...sari vidunga..en adutha postkku oru topic koduthiteenga..thxngoi :)

     

  • At 12:34 AM, November 22, 2006, Blogger Dreamzz said…

    aama..enga ungala romba naala kadai pakkam kaanum?

     

  • At 2:49 AM, November 22, 2006, Blogger KK said…

    Nice post... but I doubt if we will have another Jesus or Buddha, But current age has KK :)

     

  • At 1:30 PM, November 22, 2006, Blogger Pavithra said…

    kittu - Welcome !! Thanks ;-)

    SKM - True !! Normal people can't be exceptional like Jesus/Buddha. It is rightly said "Man is an interdependent social animal". So only people who are detached can probably love unconditionally and be without expectations. ;-)

    dreamzz - seekaram post podunga ;-)
    me, bit busy !!

    kk - Naveena ulaga buddhar-nu peru vachidalaama?

     

  • At 3:06 PM, November 22, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pavithra,

    In my opinion,a Mother's love is always unconditional.You may say that she too expects something from her child..but here the matter is how she reacts if that expectation fails..i can promise you that she wills still love that child who has failed to fullfill the expectation.

    A Mother is always selfless to her childs irrespective of her nature.

    Thanks for your time.

    - Hayagriva Dasan

     

  • At 4:59 PM, November 22, 2006, Blogger Pavithra said…

    Hayagrive Dasan - So, even wives/husbands tolerate each other's faults. If only how we react to disappointments matters, then every true love should be said to be unconditional. If that adjustment is not there then there would be no marriages existing anywhere. So, how do we differenciate "unconditional love" from "love"? I'm sorry if I'm wrong but that's my view.

     

  • At 5:56 PM, November 22, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Pavithra,

    Agreed.Every relationship will tolerate with us for our mistakes.But,for how many times,will they tolerate in this materialistic world ?

    I mean to say that there is no saturation level for mother's tolerance.A mother wont throw away her child in any moment.God may or maynot forget our mistakes..but mother will always forget our mistake.

    If any other relationship exists with infinite tolerance level,surely i bow to agree that it is also unconditional.But the same relationship(other than mother) which is unconditional for you maynot be unconditional for me.

    Again,this is my view which may be totally wrong.

    Thanks for making me to meditate about relationships.

    - Hayagriva Dasan

     

  • At 9:38 PM, November 22, 2006, Blogger Syam said…

    another gud post...but when we are kids all the love we had towards everything was unconditional and it slowly changes as we grow up...

     

  • At 1:10 AM, November 23, 2006, Blogger KK said…

    //Naveena ulaga buddhar-nu peru vachidalaama?//
    Vechalam aana athukku munnadi yen bodhi maram yenganu kandu pudikanum... :)

     

  • At 9:11 AM, November 23, 2006, Blogger Pavithra said…

    Hayagriva Dasan - True !!

    Syam - Ahaa !! Thathuvam arumai arumai ;-)

    kk - Ungalukku athellam thevai illa. Some talents are inborn ;-)

     

  • At 7:46 AM, November 29, 2006, Blogger Idea Senator said…

    It is easier said than done me lady. Better not tread on paths unclear and dificult unless you are fully aware what you are getting into.

     

  • At 4:14 PM, December 08, 2006, Blogger Dany said…

    well frm my point of view possesiveness may not be called as conditional. if we quote jesus for unconditional love jesus also expects people to come to GOD through him.

    so unconditional should be viewed from a different point of view. the way a parent reacts to a childs mistake will be different from the way the same parents would react to some strangers mistake. they are ready to forgive and forget their childrens mistake and many children when they grow up also shower unconditional love towards their parents.

    so it is happening everywhere. there are still people who help strangers without their name being coming out.

    anyways a nice thought provoking post.

     

  • At 2:03 AM, January 04, 2007, Blogger butterfly Surya said…

    Hi Pavithra,

    Unconditional love is nothing but accepting people "as they are". Ur saying parents love towards daughter is unconditional, but it also only for certain extent..

    If a girl or boy fall in love with one and wants to marry the same parents agitated against them and totally dislike and curse them even.. We have seen many in our day to day life... Then where is the unconditonal love gone... Then it become conditional...

    JUST ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE AND LOVE THEM--- That is really unconditional... Rest all conditional in other words buisness...

     

  • At 5:23 PM, January 05, 2007, Blogger Laddoo said…

    That piece of blog makes one think...
    Many a time we expect unconditional love from our beloved ones (spouse, parent, child etc) and this expectation itself becomes a condition for our love for them ! Ironic,yet true ...
    I continue thinking ...

     

  • At 10:08 AM, May 13, 2007, Blogger Unknown said…

    Unconditional love? non existent. As long as there is an "I" there is no possibility of unconditional love. But is losing the "I" worth pursuing as a goal? Debatable. For centuries, we, indians, have tried to lose that and in the process losing a lot more - self respect on the top of the list. In fact, the opposite would do a lot good - knowing the "I" would help a lot. ;) check out http://dreamz-unltd.blogspot.com/2007/03/poguthe-poguthe.html when u have time.

    //Is it possible to be like Jesus/Buddha turning a deaf ear to what others say abt us?//
    It is not that they decided to turn deaf as you put it. rather, they cant react any other way. All they are capable of is only giving love no matter what they receive, for they know the futility of acting otherwise.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home