Project/Life Management

3 friends Raju, Ramu and Somu, graduate from a top engg. college. All of them have been peers from childhood and are equally efficient be it studies, sports or other extra-curricular activities. If Ramu comes first one term, next time its Somu's or Raju's turn. All 3 are placed in the same company and wish each other good luck before they get assigned to their respective projects. Raju joins as a team member (TM) in a big project. He is really worried becoz he's the only new member in the team. His project manger(PM) and project leader(PL) handle him with utmost care. They give him every opportunity to grow and he starts feeling comfortable. His Team Leader (TL) guides him in the right path. He never blames him for his faults rather tells him politely " Its ok to make mistakes. That's how you learn. Avoid it next time". He is extremely happy and life is cool. He performs very well and is selected as the best associate of the year. He is the youngest to acheive this..How was this possible? His superiors moulded him properly and got their work done. A perfect example of a team work. With all their experience, they knew how to handle people. They were given a glass jar and now it has become hard metal ready to face more challenges. Raju got promoted as a Team Leader and he set a perfect example. He kept moving higher and now he is the youngest entrepreneur with 30 people working under him. In an interview he said, "I owe my success to my parents because without them I'd not have been a good individual. I should thank my professors and friends who helped me gain knowledge in this world. I should thank the TL,PL and PM of my first project, who were a second mother to me. Though inherently I was talented, they brought out the talent in me and within 7 years I'm a much more confident and successful person". Ramu joined a project with a lot of aspirations. He joined as a TM and was handed over to a TL who was responsible to take care of him. The PM or PL did not assign him any work. He had his project work and in addition he did some learning on his own. Noone guided him. He tried to improve himself technically and clear certification exams but that didn't make his TL, PL or PM happy. His TL abused him in every work he did and interfered in his job while the same code had been said to be excellent by others. He got appreciated by everyone for his perfect planning at work. The TL kept comparing him against other TM's and said, "You didn't participate in the birthday celebrations, team outings..you are not taking initiative". He's fed up at this ill-treatment. He decided to quit and at the exit interview says, "I can never accept that this failure is solely becoz of me..its due to lack of team work. When we 4 are like 4 wheels of a car, if one tyre is weak still the car can make to its destination. Likewise, I'm new to this project while you 3 are already here. You should understand that it would take me a lot of time to understand things here. Things can't happen overnight. I think I'm worth more than being here but to the new member who comes in please don't treat him like how you did me. 1. Stop complaining abt the TM. Every TM has his negatives and if the PL/PM keep cribbing , the project is not going to succeed. 2. Give them a definite goal/plan and evaluate them based on that. Instead of expecting something from them and without informing them how would they know? 3. Encourage them in new initiatives. 4. Stop seeing them with hatred/fear that he may shine better than you. After all, we all work in the same team. 5. Always give constructive feedback. Don't expect the TM to be happy when you keep saying, "I don't know who gave you an engineering degree. You are fit for nothing" . Though Ramu was equally talented, his environment was completely against him and he failed at first. The glass jar has been broken, though its repaired it can never be the same again. Somu, was a bit more luckier than Ramu. He too had a worse environment with noone to guide. His PL didn't know what it means to appreciate. But atleast his TL was a good man. He helped Somu to improve technically and encouraged him though his PL and PM were always against him. His PM and PL's expectations were different. Somu told clearly in the interview that he is interested in working and has experience in Java but they thought they could retrain him in the technology of their choice. What a folly? THey did not have their requirements clear. They chose the wrong resource and now instead of utilizing and correcting their mistake they crib and make the situation worse. Somu was disappointed becoz his aspirations were shattered still he tried to train himself. But they expected him to be an expert right from day 1 and kept comparing him against experienced people. They were also unhappy. Somu could not shine much because his environment wasn't favourable. The project didn't fare well and the PL left the project. It could have been a win-win situation. Though it took time, luck has started favouring him. Now, he is the PL for a project of his choice. ******************************************************* A very good management principle and an excellent example of what a manager/leader should do. Applying the same to life, assuming life as a long-term project, we all fall into either of the 3 categories. Successful, Failures , Hoping. Let me substitute the management roles to home members. TM - Wife / Daughter-in-law TL - Husband / Son PL - Mother-in-law PM - Father-in-law As a TM, the newly wed DIL never wants to create any confusion in the house. Will someone wantedly destroy peace? But, she is the only person blamed for that. She, becoming a Raju,Ramu or Somu depends largely on the other 3 members. First case, perfect family .. full of love and understanding. Sadly, happens rarely. Second case, worst family. With everyone against her, she quits either out of the family or out of this world itself. Sadly, this happens even today. Third case, neutral family. With 75% women working, are families clear on whether they want their DIL to work or not? Customs, culture, town/city brought up, attitude,etc what not? When requirements itself is wrong is it correct to blame the DIL? If atleast husband supports his wife and stands by her, she has a reason to hope that one fine day things would be normal. Still she's waiting for the MIL to quit..she's just tolerating. Atleast at work, the PL and PM move out of the project and would never be under the TM..but in life its not so. Once things come into her hand, she starts taking revenge. It's hell of a life for everyone. This is the situation of most families today. When we know we have a disease and we also know the cure, we fail to accept it. May be God didn't want a perfect world? Is that why there are least Raju's and more Ramu's and Somu's? Will this situation change atleast in our generation?