Relationships

Recently, I watched a TV show where there was an argument about relationships. The crux/conclusion of the arguments was the most important/effective relationship is “Husband-Wife”. Though surprising, practically the answer is right. People can live without their parents. The death of their parents doesn’t end their life. People exist without siblings. There are even childless couples whose life continues. But the single most difficult loss to counter is the death/separation of spouse. I asked my mom, “Whom do you love more, dad or us?” The reply she gave just amazed me, “The world might say that mother’s love is the best but that’s never true. A husband however bad he might be is a woman’s first love. She might shout at him but will never stop loving him. When her children fall sick or move away after marriage/career a woman would feel the loss but to a much lesser degree than when her husband leaves her/dies." She continued, " Similarly, your dad though he doesn't show his emotions would never bear to see me suffering even from a slight fever." We call our spouse as "life partner". The only person who is there for us throughout our life. As I was thinking on this I bumped into a link , Get your relationships 'organised' Do we really give this much importance to this most important relationship? I think we take certain things for granted. Sadly, this relationship has been the least respected from time immemorial. A generation ago, this relationship remained intact becoz wives were more tolerant. But now, even love marriages are failing miserably. The attention that we give each other when we are lovers just vanishes out of sight after marriage. We spend a lot of time in earning money, planning for our future, career, children, etc but spare no time to do small things which show our spouse " Hey !! I love you the most. Come what may you are the most important person in my life". A wife definitely expects this not sure even if a husband also feels neglected after marriage. One of my collegues, did her MBA and got married to another business executive. She was so career-oriented that she would always be touring. She won laurels everywhere but within a year her husband filed for a divorce and she has no regrets now. She feels her husband is egoistic and hinders her growth. Her husband was a normal person who expects his wife to take care of his family, wake him up with a smile and wait for him when he returns home with a hot dinner, spends the weekends with him, listens to his tensions, etc but he got the opposite wife who expects him to cook dinner, comes home tired with a lot of tensions to share rather than listen. He had politely told her about his feelings. She wasn't ready to change. Another collegue, his wife is a house-wife. He was too busy with his work that he hardly spent time at home. His wife got pissed off and left him. Quite understandable.. She sits at home staring at the door waiting for her husband. When everyday he comes late and is too tired to notice even the new saree she is wearing, or appreciate the nice dinner she has cooked, she feels uncared for. She would be planning the whole week for the weekend while her husband would come home on a Friday evening saying, " I've to work this weekend. I've a deadline to meet". Still worse is couples divorcing due to problem/mis-understandings among in-laws. When its a universal truth that mother-in-law and daugther-in-law never get along well, we seldom notice how this strains the relationship b/w husband & wife. So marriages in either way don't suceed whether the wife is an office-goer or a house-wife. God definitely didn't create man to suffer but there seems to be very few happy people. So its definitely man who is spoiling his own happiness. People are starting to lose faith in this husband-wife relationship. As days pass, women's self-respect would definitely increase and adjustmentment and tolerance would reduce. It's no doubt that we are competing with the developed countries but definitely at the cost of our relationships. A generation from now we might see India completely westernised.