Saying "No" !!

Today, I realized that I can't say "no" to anyone that easily. I need to do my work called (deployment of applications) once others complete their work (coding). This is supposed to happen before 5 PM ( rather 4 PM). X always comes with unofficial requests to re-do the work. He needs to follow a process and get approval from his manager etc .. but that would be a black-mark to him and would take a lot of time. So I wasn't strict and did all I could to help him. Once, he foolishly let out an unnecessary/false comment on our team's work. I was pissed off for a moment but then just left it. I told this to my roomie. I told her that the next time I'll say "no" to him. My other team mates started to be strict with him after this incident and he had no other option but me. Surprisingly, the next time he called me, I totally forgot everything and said "OK". This is still continuing. I got a phone call at 10 PM from him today. Me : OK... let me know once its done and don't take too long. I need to wake up early tommorrow to be in office early. X : Sure. My collegue (and room mate):"Why are you so forgiving? He doesn't deserve it. You are already tired" She was right. I need not have stayed back to complete his work. After all, noone is going to know that I helped him. Even he doesn't understand that. I started thinking on why I didn't refuse and say "no". We are 3 people here in our team. I live near to workplace but one person (say Y) has to commute for an hour to reach office. They both live with their families and I'm alone :(. So, I make it a point that I look into all requests at night. Whenever he requests me to come early instead of him, I'll happily say "ok". But oneday I wasn't feeling well and left early from office to get some rest. They both didn't take care of things even that day. I got up did some work for an hour went back to sleep..30 minutes later.. another task.. I was really frustated and told to my roomie..I'm not going to do anymore work today. Immediately, Y called me " Pavithra, we have some work starting at 11 PM tonight till 2-3 AM and since I'm doing some work, can you take care of the rest." I said "Ok". My roomie got too angry on me. But I thought, Y had to play for a cricket match early next day and the other person had planned to go to a theme park with his wife, early next day. That was the only thing running in my mind..I knew there were 5 tasks and I accepted to do 3 which would take me 5 hours from 11 PM. Why didn't I tell him I'm not feeling well so I can't do this? Was it my "ego" and I didn't want him to sympathize me? In my prev project, I had to work for atleast 18 hours a day of which my work would have been not more than 6 hours. This was the only credit that I got in my appraisal letter - "She never refuses to help others in the project. Personal Efficiency -10/10". Why do I have this disease of always saying "yes" for requests that too happily with a "smile" as my clients point out? I never crib abt doing work except when even after doing so much..noone recognizes it and points a finger at me. Whenever I go to my relatives house with my parents, and if someone offers me a food or drink, I'll be the only person to accept it (inspite have having a full stomach from visiting a series of relatives the same day :-)). I don't know to refuse. Even if there are certain things that I never want to do, I do them. My mom tells me "Un kita kaariyam saathikarathu rombha easy..konjam paavamaa, soft ta sonna pothum". May be true, I get pissed off if someone orders me to do things and I'll fight till the end to protest, but the same thing told in a loving manner I'll do it at any cost. I'm not sure if its an entirely bad thing. It's good to be liked by everyone. But then I need to realize that I should not be fooled emotionally. X taught me a lesson today not to be a simpleton ..but will I be able to follow it ?? God only knows !!

Media - Will they ever stop?

Whenever there is some silly matter being blown up in Sun TV, I would say to myself " Indecent people .. these Indians would never change". Policians start blaming each other in various media and it would drive me crazy. I thought americans are civilized and decent people. I think I was wrong..when it comes to media all are in the same herd. For the past 2-3 days, people in US might have noticed only one issue blown up in all channels.. Its not the war at Israel but about Christie Brinkley's husband, Peter Cook, cheating her. Ok.. I didn't know who she was till I saw the news. She is supposed to be a super-model ( 52 now :)). Detail news at CNN She is a celebrity..OK..her husband cheated her..fine. So all channels get hold of the other girl (Diana) and get her interview and start discussions on very useful subjects like "Why do men cheat?", "Why do married men cheat?" , " Do women also cheat?", " Whose mistake was it Peter's or Diana's?". There were atleast 2-3 hours of these discussions for 2-3 days. The same happened a few years ago about Bill Clinton. Does anyone in India know any of his acheivements? But everyone knows his private life. I heard that a president should satisfy certain criteria..blah-blah..but why make it a world news? Just for media's publicity !! Doesn't a person have his privacy? Who are they to publicize what he did? The questions are personal and why should they be answered in public? Who are they to judge his private life? Why do they care? Is it going to bring any use to the society? A celebrity's private life is the matter of concern for the media. Today, there was a hype about pictures of crying babies. It seems, someone wanted to take pictures of crying babies so they gave a lolly-pop to them and forcibly got it back and took the pictures..Uh? Tomorrow, there seems to be a discussion on is it correct to do that? This was the headline news along with "Is the world heading for a 3rd world war?". Why not have a separate section for fun? I don't know when the media will stop this. Do people also enjoy these kinds of news? May be, yes..so I can't blame the media alone !! They would broadcast everything and I didn't have the control to switch the channel as it was a Gym :-( !!

Parents !!

Few months back, I received a mail fwd and atlast today managed to find it ... here In essence, the moral of the story "No matter what, parents will always be there and give you everything they can to make you happy. Never forget how important your parents are and try not to take them for granted...they may not be around forever". An old story ... but my all time favourite !! I'm happy to share it today because this story changed a life. One of my collegues got married recently and she wasn't happy. We had a discussion. She: I can't live with her(mother-in-law) anymore. Everyday is a nightmare. I need to decide this today. I can't tolerate this anymore.(She gave various reasons) Me: I can't tell whose mistake it is without hearing the other side. But, just because you can't tolerate your mother-in-law, what right do you have to separate your husband from his parents? She: Even I'm away from my parents. When I can think that he's the most important person to me, why can't he? If he really loves me, he'll not want me to suffer. We'll go abroad and be away from everyone. Me: Women, by nature, tend to think their husband is the most important person. I don't know why, maybe because of the way we are brought up or its in our blood. Think from your husband's perspective.(I suddenly remembered this fwded story and sent it to her). If you did not want to live in a joint family, you should have told your husband well before marriage. He might have decided over his priorities. She : I didn't know that it would be tough.(She started crying.. I knew she won't understand). Me : Ok.. let's assume u love ur husband more than he loves u. She : that's true. Me : Ok.. so I beleive you can do anything for his happiness. She : sure. Me : Is he happy being with his parents? She : Yes. Me : Would he be happy to leave them alone and live with you? She : He said he cannot. Me : So, do you think he'll be happy if you force him to forsake them? Will his parents be happy? She : No.. Me : Don't you think you're being selfish? Just for your so-called happiness, you are spoiling the happiness of a whole family. She : I'm not selfish everyone else is.. I've tried to adjust so much. Me : But then, even after you move out how can you be happy if your husband isn't? She : I think you are right.. moving out will not solve this problem. Me : Every house has problems, if its a perfect world then we'll get bored and dull. (advice panrathu evalo easy :-)) Every person has their positives and negatives. Life is always about adjustment. I can't say anything abt ur husband or mother-in-law but I think you can make a positive difference by loving back. Ok ..Will you be happy if your husband hates your parents or speaks bad about them? She: No. Me: What would give him more happiness than you accepting his parents? She : But everyone has a limit of how much they can give without expecting, I'm not Buddha or Jesus. ( Ithe dialogue naanum pesi irukken :() When everytime I try to love, I just get hurt more. Me: I know that its tough and time should heal your hurt feelings. Ok, you need not love but can't you atleast tolerate? Atleast to make your husband happy? She : I don't know. But I liked the story. And I understood that I was selfish. I need to give this some time. Me : As time goes by, you'll get used to things. How long do you think your mother-in-law can keep complaining? After all, doesn't she know that if you're not happy then her son can't be happy? Parent's are not selfish..its just the generation gap and its in our hands to understand them. She : I've always felt that she is selfish. But this story makes sense. May be I was wrong. Me : They have spent their whole life for their children..now within a year you want to take your husband abroad. How would they feel? Even if your mother-in-law seems the worst to u, she is the best for ur husband. She : Yeah.. Thanks .. I understand. *************** THE END ************** Part - 2: :-) She (today): "(nalam visarichitu)...Pavi..things have not changed much. But, my husband was happy that I changed my decision. He listens to my problems and I think he understands. Today is our wedding day and he gave me a card saying how much he loves me.. I was deeply moved. I might have not celebrated this day happily if I had been foolish that day. It's all because of you" Me : ( I was also deeply moved ;-)) Good. Wish you many more happy returns of this day. Advice yaar venum naalum pannalaam but following it, is the toughest thing.. so credit goes to you not me. Nerla pesalaam..I'll be back soon. *********** சுபம் *********************

Beside Every Successful Person !!

I like the proverb "Behind every successful man, there is a woman". But I've never understood the real meaning of this. I've seen this practically with my parents. My father is a doctor and I consider him successful/contended. But I always wonder how can my mother who has just managed to complete her +2 be behind his success. The only way I could think of is, she has been a good wife. She knew the responsibilities of a doctor and never cribbed when he had to be in the hospital 24 hours. This is what my father told me "a peaceful family life is directly proportional to a peaceful/successful professional life". A good lesson to learn. But then, is it only the wife who takes the credit? A man is how his mother made him. That's true..the mother is the sculptor who shapes her children. So, behind a man's success there is definitely his mother..so if the proverb says "a woman" then I think it must be his mother !! I remember a relay match where there are 4 people running towards a goal. If the first 3 don't give a lead the 4th person can still make an effort and win. On the otherhand, even if the first 3 people do well, the victory still depends largely on the 4th person. So, a wife according to me is like the 4th person. Sometimes, she can completely change the life of a man (of course either positively or negatively ;-)).Sometimes, she can be behind his success just by not stopping him. Does this proverb apply to a man only? I just remember my childhood days. As a girl, I was lucky. My father encouraged me in everything I did. He encouraged me to learn things and be equally competitive in this world. Books, Sports, Cooking, Music,Instruments, Painting, Handicrafts, Embroidery, Oratorical competitions, Debates, Quizzes..what not. I think I've been successful so far. And I think, my father was the man behind it. As a woman, I've inherited certain qualities from my mother. So, she also has a role in my success. As a working woman, I understand the practical difficulties in managing a family (though I'm just into it :-)).In general, 50% of my collegues are female. Nearly 25% of them are in a joint family and without their mother-in-laws' support they could never imagine working late hours, managing household work, taking care of their kids and above all these what a great relief to go home tired and see that dinner is ready and you get a cup of hot coffee with a caring smile !! For the rest 75%, husbands are great!! There is 50-50 in everything..be it cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, etc. What does it take for a woman to really balance her professional and personal life? How can a good husband be? The bible says this. 5-10 years back, marriage was a show stopper in a woman's career. When I was in college, I thought marriage was the end of my career. I think I was wrong. I enrolled in a MS degree and was 100% sure I'd never complete it becoz I got married. I struggled for a year before marriage to complete my thesis but completed it in 4 months after marriage. This would have never been possible without the support of my husband and in-laws. The interviews of many famous women never fail to mention the part played by their husbands to help them climb the laddder. It requires a lot more maturity for a husband to be egoless and allow his wife to grow and shine. I think, without her husband's support, a woman can never be successful/contended in her life. May be the same applies to a man too. Should the modern saying be "Beside every successful person, there is their spouse"?

Negative Calorie Foods

I love friuts and vegetables but I never knew the difference it could make for a healthy life. When I came through this term "negative calorie foods", I was surprised. Can food contain negative calories? In short, an apple has 60 calories but it takes 100 calories to digest it. So that's the idea. Surprising, but seems to be true. Then, I tried making milkshake out of apple..no luck..even without sugar it doesn't work. So maybe that's why we're advised to eat whole fruits than drink fruit juices. Chewing consumes calories !! I was a bit worried in putting on 1 kg after a vacation. So I thought of trying this out. I just skipped my regular lunch. I had a mix of 3 fruits water-melon, apple and mango (lot of calories) for lunch for 2 days. Then I altered my dinner the next day with vegetable salad.. cabbage, carrot, cucumber, tomato. I've lost altogether 1 kg in 3 days. I never felt hungry. What it means to me .. if I can alter my normal diet to contain these salads and fruits, it means I can have my favourite ice-cream without worrying about putting on weight :-) and in turn stay healthy !!. For more information, Negative Calorie 1 Negative Calorie 2

Oh God - Did u preach these ??

I read an inspiring post from Shuba . When I question my Grandma about why she follows certain customs and ask "Isn't God there in everyone? Then why should we worship him separately? Does God reside only in temples?". She just tells " இந்த காலத்து பசங்க .. ஹூம்" . But then, noone can answer certain questions :-) All mantras and prayers, according to my meagre knowledge are supposed to give inner peace. My grandma and so many others have hatred all over their heart but never fail to recite the mantras through their lips everyday. Is reciting the mantras just a routine? For me, reciting a slogam everyday lifelong without following it, isn't fascinating..I just try to understand the meaning and follow it. That gives me more peace !! I came across this statement once. - "Purity, self-restraint,non-violence, patience, love for ones fellow-beings - these are the internal marks of a Brahmin". According to me, castes and societal divisions are definitely man-made. To me God is the mother of the whole universe, the same way a mother cannot differenciate between her children..God also doesn't have any discriminations. HE loves a Brahmin to the same degree as he loves a sudran. On this concept - I always question my Grandma about "Vrathams".. will a mother want her child to suffer. Then how can God want us to undertake fasting? I accept that fasting is good for health but it was man-made and I can't accept that God told us to fast so that he'll grant our wishes. At this age, being a diabetic patient when she undertakes fasting for whatever newmoon, fullmoon etc I just feel pity on her. A lot of my friends/relatives have gone through dowry problems. So 50-100 years back, dowry was a gift given by the father to his daughter as she did not have any share in the ancestoral wealth. But now it has become a "custom". A "gift" is demanded isn't it cheaper than begging? A woman enters a man's house, and takes care of him, his parents, children, house-hold work..what not? Does dowry stop with marriage, it continues life long in the name of "customs". Who made these customs? Does God, say Shiva, whom we worship, who has given half of him to Parvati , ask us to get dowry? Or does he tell us to do all morai's like gold, clothes etc during and after marriage? The groom's parents behave as if they have acheived something in having got a son and the bride's parents are below them (There are still some people like this). How will their sins be purified even if they chant mantrams 3 times a day when they don't have the basic humanity? It is the girl's parents who are losing their daughter..how is it compensated? By harassing them more in every given chance !! They just have to accept it because its the nature of the society !! That explains the reason of female infanticides in our motherland where a woman is suppossed to be seen as a goddess. Most women, be it urban or rural, don't want a girl child!! I'm just wondering what's the use in an arranged marriage? Is it really a union of two families as opposed to only 2 souls in a love marriage? I came across this explanation at here " The groom then recites a mantra to convey the following meaning: After crossing seven steps with me thus, you should become my friend. I too have become your friend now. I will never discord this friendship and you should not also do that.Let us be together always. Let us resolve to do things in life in the same manner and tread the same path..... With these qualities, you be my follower. You the sweet tongued, come to me to get good male children and wealth." Does the vedas really say these? A very simple thing of "purity". Something which bothers me.. People eat non-veg for the whole year but in the month of "புரட்டாசி" they don't eat non-veg because its an auspicious month.. and do all kinds of poojas. The same on Fridays, Saturdays...come on..God wants us to love all and not to harm animals. If we really try to follow his principles, we should try not to kill animals. Still worse is the animal sacrifices they make in the name of God.. How is a person who tries to follow God's principles the whole year but doesn't do those poojas inferior to these people? Next is "Sabari mala"... the same case here. A person who is a drunkard, womaniser who fasts for 48 days seems to be purified of his sins..I know people who have been doing this for 10 years.. the idea is once they follow those principles during those 48 days, they should follow it life long..but that doesn't happen. They never become better persons !! Old habits die hard. I'm not against any customs..but just trying to reason out why?? Bottomline 75% of the customs were made generations ago and may not be applicable today. Even the remaining 25% are being mis-interpreted in different forms by different people. I'm just wondering "Oh God - Did u preach these ??" ....

Re-marriage

40 years ago , my aunt married a scientist and they both came to London to start a happy life. Within a year, my uncle died of some unknown/uncurable disease. My father wanted my aunt to remarry, she did not.. she stayed back in London because she knew the sufferings of her mother as a widow. She took up a job as a nurse, today she is retired and seems to be happy !! 2 years back, I asked her "Aren't u feeling alone there? Why don't you come back to India?" She said.." I have my friends and I've been there for 40 years. I don't feel lonely. I keep myself occupied. I'll come back to India..but not sure when". I couldn't understand how she could be alone. I just thought she did not think of a remarriage becoz she was brought up in an Indian society a generation ago !! 2 weeks back, my friend's sister met with the same plight. Her husband died suddenly. They have a 3 month old kid. My friend wanted her sister to marry someone but her sister refuses. I think she has a point in refusing to remarry!! . May be 1 year back I'd have agreed with my friend 100% but now I could not. My friend and I had a chat. Is it emotionally posible for a man/woman to remarry? Is it not possible for her to live for her child the rest of her life? Marriage in itself is a gamble, we never know what's in store for us.. is it worth the risk? It may be easier to forget a husband whom u hate but is it possible to forget someone u love? Even if she gets a loving husband, will he be considerate towards her child? I just concluded that its not like what feminists say " Women are being discriminated..this is still a male dominated society. blah-blah". Re-marriage is an individual's choice. Though not today, if someday she meets the right person its not wrong to choose him as her companion for the rest of her life. At the same time, if she decides to lead her life with her child and the memories of her husband, that is also not wrong. I think her family should leave the decision to her and support her in whatever she decides instead of pressurizing her like "think of ur future, ur child's future, how can u live without a man's support,etc"!! P.S : Dedicated to my friend's sister. Let God give her the courage to face life.

First day in US

This post is about my experience when I first landed in US !! Before I left India, there were a lot of advices from my friends, relatives, collegues. The main issues that concerned me were African Americans and Vegetarian food !! Atleast food I thought I could manage. But everyone said "Keep away from blacks", "Don't argue with them they might shoot u"..what not !! Anyway compared to the excitement of my first trip abroad all these seemed trivial. After nearly 20 hours of flight travel, I happily landed in US. I got out of my flight and joined the long line for immigration check. I wasn't too tensed.. the HR in my company had already told me what all questions might be asked. I was prepared with the answers. There were atleast 15 counters and as fate would have it there was only 1 counter with an African lady and I had to report there..Hmm...I went and handed over my papers and passport. She:"Have you filed your new papers?" Me: Uh..I'm sorry ( That's the first time someone is speaking with me in American/African English) She: Ur petition expires this month.have u filed for a new one? Me: No She:U can't be here without a new petition .. file one. I was just going crazy..how was that possible. I did not understand what she was talking.. I thought H1B was for 3 years how could it expire so soon.. I saw the paper. I landed on Apr 1 2006 and the expiry date said Apr 30 2008 but my bad luck the 2008 appeared like a 2006. I tried to explain to her that it was 2008. She didn't want to give up. She : Ok .. I prayed all Gods that I should leave from there as soon as possible. But it was not my day !!After 5 minutes She : U were supposed to be here 6 months back. Why r u late? Me: ?? ( My HR didn't tell me this question. I blabbered everything possible) My petition was applied in Pune and I had to transfer to Chennai. Then I got married so my visit got delayed.. She : After 2 minutes ... stand there next to the wall !! I decided 100% that I'm going to go back to India by the next flight and was just thinking if I have my US manager's number. She started with the next person and happily stamped the I-94 for 5 more people. I just thought my bad luck. Then a senior official came and she said something to him, he asked me to get into a room. There were 10-15 people there... I waited for nearly 30 minutes.. then this smart guy ( he was really cute) called me " Paeveetra" that's how he pronounced my name. He was obviously puzzled as why I was escalated.. He found the papers perfect. He went out had a chat with the lady and came back..he was smiling.. He asked me the same question. But now I was prepared .. I told him though I got my papers I had to reschedule my PAI dates and that's why I got delayed. He asked my company ID card and stamped my I-94 . He: Where's ur husband? Me: California I was shocked because my papers say I'm single and how did he know? Coincidentally, we tend to speak the truth when we r tensed. Again a wrong answer. I realized I did a mistake. My HR told me 100 times .."Don't ever give him a clue that u r planning to settle in US..he'll reject u immmediately". I saw his smile change..next question He: So u'll go there weekends? Me: It's too far..may be I'll go once. He:"How long would u be here?" Me: may be 3-6 months.. He:ur husband Me: he's going back in a month. He: I don't think so...hope I'll see u both here after 5 years applying for a green card.. Ok.. All the best. Enjoy your stay here. Me: Thanks a lot. I felt so relieved and collected my baggage. Ok .. first thing I searched for a phone booth to call my husband and tell him I reached safely. So I wanted change and went all around asking for change. Atlast managed to get change for a dollar. Again bad luck, I didn't know how to use the pay phone.. I dropped the quarter dollar dialled the number no answer.. Saw 3 people (supposedly Indians) there..I asked them if they could dial the number for me.. one guy offered me his mobile and I already had enough tensions that my hands were already shivering.. He dialled the number for me and not again !! My hubby was another call so it asked me to leave a voice message.... I've never left voice messages before ..didn't even know what to do so I think I told my name. I thanked the guy and told him if he gets a call from that number its my hubby and asked him to tell that I'll call him back. Then I knew that's what I should have told in the voice message :-). As I was thinking, whether I should try the pay phone again or go to my apartment and then call my hubby..suddenly an African around 300 pounds was standing behind me and asked "Are you looking for a cab?". Again a wrong answer "yes".. come on he said and took my luggage.. I could not even imagine my horror .. first time in a foreign land and alone with an African who seemed too dangerous..but then how can I say "no" now.. So got into the cab and was just praying silently.. At last saw the street.. got down and my collegues said the cab would take $50 he asked $65. .. get lost I thought ... I had already had enough. This is an experience which I'll never forget.. saw a post on african Americans and remembered this incident...but then after that I've had a pleasnt stay here :-)

தமிழ் முயற்சி

I was just wondering how people post in Tamil.. Got this information from Syam . So just wanted to try it out. It was too simple and easy !! Hope I'm the only one who doesn't know this simple thing.. If someone else doesn't know how please visit his blogsite .. let me give him credit !! நன்றி ஷயாம் !! (Thanks Syam)

Alarm Clock

I usually keep alarm in my mobile but now I have a mobile which doesn't have that facility. Its a motorola model .. I think it was the first model invented :-(. No complaints.. company provided that to me for production support. I'm happy that I have that atleast. Now I realize the value of Nokia :-)..Ok, I spent atleast 2 hours to find out that my mobile doesn't have the alarm facility. So, I had to use the conventional alarm clock. But even that was complicated. I put the alarm to on and set a time in it..it didn't work..luckily I got up soon. Today I had to be at office at 7 AM and did not want to take a chance. My roommate offered her Nokia mobile and asked me to use it. But I had sometime and decided to fix my alarm clock..after all we're engineers..s/w engineers and not able to fix an alarm clock !! I started with our usual procedure "If something doesn't work, restart it..if it still doesn't work restart your computer". I switched off the clock ..no luck. So I unplugged it. Now it started to ring but every 10 minutes. After an hour, I figured out the "Snooze" functionality. There were a lot of buttons so snooze was easier for me. So I snoozed it first and then managed to find the right button and switched it off. It seemed flawless to me. But seems the clock is programmed differently. I figured out atlast how to use my alarm clock. I should never touch the snooze button. I should just switch it off. Today I wasn't sure if it would work and its amazing sometimes how well our body is programmed. I got up well before but still wanted to be in bed to check if my understanding is correct..though it wasn't a perfect solution..I fixed it..And Wow at 5:35 sharp it rang and I was happy !! I'll do some research later to really understand the clock !!

GWT

Came through this acronym, thought of sharing it here !! Google Web Toolkit (GWT) is a Java software development framework that makes writing AJAX applications easy. With GWT, you can develop and debug AJAX applications in the Java language using the Java development tools of your choice. GWT is a JavaScript generator. GWT takes Java code written against a special API and converts it into browser-runnable Ajax code. Check a good tutorial at http://www.onjava.com/pub/a/onjava/2006/05/31/working-with-google-web-toolkit.html AJAX is an acronym for Asynchronous JavaScript And XML. A traditional web application will submit input (using an HTML form) to a web server. After the web server has processed the data, it will return a completely new web page to the user. Because the server returns a new web page each time the user submits input, traditional web applications often run slowly and tend to be less user friendly. With AJAX, web applications can send and retrieve data without reloading the whole web page. This is done by sending HTTP requests to the server (behind the scenes), and by modifying only parts of the web page using JavaScript when the server returns data. XML is commonly used as the format for receiving server data, although any format, including plain text, can be used. More examples at http://www.w3schools.com/ajax I tried the samples .. looks cool.

Faith

Every creation in this world is a miracle.. I've always wondered if parikarams are worth it. So why this post now? Because I just spoke to my cousin sister today and remembered this incident which happened 3 years ago !! There is a place near Kanchipuram..a small Narayana temple. It's serving as a hope for several childless mothers. My cousin happened to be one. She was childless for 5 years. They heard about this news and came to our house as we were in Kanchipuram. The custom was, the wife had to follow some vratham in the temple. They had some whole grains roasted and would make a "mootai", dip it in water and tie it around her womb. She has to spend the night there saying some mantrams. If the next day morning the grain has sprouted, it means she is eligible to get a child and would conceive within a year. It worked out for my cousin..she has a cute girl now !! Technically, roasted grain can't sprout...atleast that is a miracle. Is it some chemical reaction?? Frankly, I never beleived this till she conceived. God only knows :-)